Yearning
by angelofmynightmare
Summary: If there was one thing that Elizabeth Swann knew it was that she yearned for Freedom. She yearned for Freedom like she yearned for nothing else in her life. And now that Freedom was gone, Elizabeth would do anything to get it back. SPOILERS


If there was one thing in the world that Jack Sparrow understood, it was the yearn for freedom. The yearn to be able to do what one wants, when one wants. The yearn to be able to point a direction and sail to the horizon, the yearn to be able to randomly say what you want, when you want, the yearn to be able to rule your own life.

Jack Sparrow had an addiction to freedom that topped even his addiction to rum. Rum made Jack Sparrow live, but Jack Sparrow lived to be free.

So if there was one thing that linked Jack Sparrow to Elizabeth Swann, it was this addiction.

Elizabeth had always wanted freedom, always wanted freedom more than anything else in her life. She had gritted her teeth and learned the 12 traditional ways to curtsy when she truly felt like running off and kicking her bare feet into the mud, she had survived through countless dinners where there was more silverware than she could count on her two hands when really all she wanted was to go down to the tavern and eat a meal with Will, she had managed to grit her teeth and stay out of trouble as a child even though all she truly wanted was to run around all day with no one ever telling her to sit still and mind her manners.

When Elizabeth had first met Freedom, everything changed.

Freedom made her spontaneous, random, and impulsive. And Freedom really did give Elizabeth freedom. So when her father told her to stay in the cart, she left. When she was told to keep safe, she battled with immortal pirates and creatures that looked like they belonged in a child's story. And when she was asked which way she saw the compass pointing, she lied and said it didn't work.

Freedom had irreversibly changed Elizabeth Swann.

She was so unbelievably happy when she was out on the open water in men's britches and loose fitted shirts, standing on the mast with only one hand on the riggings and leaning as far out as she could go without letting herself fall. No one….nothing in the world could make her feel the same way as she did when she wasn't following someone's orders, when she was dancing to her own tune. It gave her a natural high; a feeling of such joy and lightness that she felt as though she would give anything to have a piece of freedom in her forever. Elizabeth had killed a man so that she could live on in it.

As far as Elizabeth was concerned, it was all Freedom's fault.

It was Freedom's fault that she had tanned, and burned, and freckled all over her face. It was Freedom's fault that she had lied to the crew of the Black Pearl. It was Freedom's fault that she started to doubt the one person that had been there for her entire life, who had loved her, who had sacrificed so much for her. It was Freedom's fault that her heart had been divided in two. And yes, it was completely Freedom's fault that Elizabeth was sitting in Tia Dalma's house crying worthless tears about her life.

Elizabeth felt useless, dreadful, and lost of hope. She was so confused, about her life, about her heart, about her sanity!

Will knew about what had happened on the Black Pearl, and Elizabeth knew that no matter how much he loved her, she wasn't going to ever have him like she did before. She had made him doubt her and himself, and Elizabeth knew that she couldn't ever forgive herself for that.

Elizabeth loved Will, it was obvious. She had loved him for such a long, long time. He was the one that made her happy, made her smile and laugh and do crazy things like dance in the rain. He made her enjoy life. And Elizabeth knew that he cared for her with every being of his heart. He showed it with every look he shot her, with every kiss he planted on her desperate lips. The love the two of them shared was fairy tale, like something that really only exists in books. And yet, it had existed for a long time in black and white, right out there on the table for anyone to see.

In the last few hours it had turned grey; a depressing shade of shale that made Elizabeth want to curl up into a ball and sleep forever.

All because of Freedom. Freedom that made Elizabeth do foolish things. Freedom that made Elizabeth drink rum and sing strange songs and act free. Freedom that had essentially turned Elizabeth into a pirate. Freedom that made a compass point to places that it wasn't supposed to. It was scary, scarier than anything Elizabeth had ever seen to see that compass turn slowly to where Freedom was. That moment had turned her life upside down and inside out, had pulled her out of the safety of the ground and into the hot sun.

Elizabeth knew that at that moment that she couldn't ignore it anymore.

She couldn't pretend that 100 of her heart belonged to Will. Something else had come and stolen half of it and had left her feeling like she had just stepped off a carriage that had been traveling in circles for the last day. She felt dizzy, and tired, and so bloody exhausted of having her life so tipsy turvy that she almost wished that she was back in Port Royal with her father and her corsets and satin dresses and her Will. And that she had gotten married and was living in a big house above a blacksmiths and feeling lovely and pretty and perfect.

But that would be ignoring her heart, and that was exactly the problem.

Elizabeth's other half of her heart had gone away. Gone away to a yearning. A yearning that Elizabeth itched for. A yearning that was sending Elizabeth to the ends of the earth for.

A yearning called Freedom.

A yearning that Elizabeth couldn't decipher as a man or as a feeling.

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Hope you enjoyed! As you can see, I'm still torn. Gar, that movie confuses me so much! Anyhow, review, please. I really want to know your thoughts, so share!

-k


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